'AAAAAhhhh my EYES!!!'

Up until now I have been pretty positive as two positive things on the subject of fashion so now I would like to introduce you to some collections that don't live up to my extreme and mega great standards. First of all...


Versace

There is a movie called Legally Blonde 2. And in it my friends is a famous line that states "Oh my God it's Malibu Barbie." This my petite amis, would apply here, to this collection. In fact alot of my old barbie clothes closely resemble it. I would photograph them to show you what I mean, but they are scattered all over the place and quite err... dirty. I mean what on earth was Donnatella thinking? Or not thinking as the case may be. The prints were supposed to be inspired by Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, But to me they just looked like an aquatic themed casino... 

Honestly the dresses are so skimpy no normal person could ever wear them, nor should they considering the fact that only the modelling industries finest looked (sort of good) showed them. Also...

This is what I meant by Malibu Barbie. Poor Edita, after she had her ribs removed, she's had to wear a special waist brace in the form of an uggers Versace Barbie belt. What a tragedy.

So next on the list of brands that I find a bit meh...

Balmain

Ok before I start ranting I would just like to say that Balmain is a brand. They have been doing eighties glamour since forever, because it is there trademark. What I am saying with this post is that well, how to put this delicately hmmm... IT IS GETTING OLD!!!

Christophe Decarnin (creative director of Balmain) seems to be quite into shoulder pads doesn't he? Yes I hear you say? Doesn't he seem very into glitter as well? Yes he is, you will say. How about glow mesh?  Ditto. This idiocy will continue until we get to  metallic lamae* and Xena Warrior Princess dress up day of the month. The thing that annoys me about Balmain is that all their collections are the same. They are even shown on the same cat walk with the same models in the same hair and make up. In fact, just to prove my point, I have taken the liberty of showing pictures from three of the past collections at Balmain. Now try and unscramble them. You see what I mean? Yes I think you do...

*lamae - the name of that shiny fabric that I can't spell properly because I don't know how to put the accent on the e. If I spelt it without the accent it would be lame or lama.

But wait there's more!

Giorgio Armani 

Talk about deja vous, to me, this collection just looks like remakes of stuff girls wear to a junior prom. They are even wearing flat shoes all the way through. And bubble skirts (kill me now) The colours were mostly blues but there were a few pinks and oranges. This sounds pretty much normal but the way it was executed made the colours seem out of place and well, cheap looking. The clothes didn't even look like they were well cut. They seemed to be hanging in kind of wierd creased angles on the models bodies. And is it just me, or do these to outfits look exactly the same?

         

Oh no they don't, silly me. The triangle badge is a different colour. And is the second top more a grainy fabric. No wait that's just the picture quality. The models are even walking in the same poses. They are probably separated siamese twins. I wonder if one of them is evil. SHUT UP BRAIN! 

Anyway as you can see most of the collections I have reviewed above I don't like because of some kind of similarity. But I have to say in these designers defences that these days it's very hard to come up with something new and fresh. Fashion changes so often now it's a full time job keeping up. This is why Chanel is so successful. Their designs have always been classics, with a modern spin. They are the ones that set the trends and always are featured in editorial content because they are classical beauty personified, just in a quirkier outfit.